Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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