Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
