Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
