I love black thongs
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
