Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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