woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
