some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
