How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
