yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
