somebody snuck up and got me drunk
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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