But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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