So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
