Dude my mom stole all your condoms
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
