I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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