3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
