ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
