I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I want a musical about memes.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
