what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize