I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
