you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
