apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
