"it" just moved
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
