Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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