If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
