I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
