I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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