her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
