So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
