i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
