You smell like a Billy Joel song
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
