i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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