Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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