I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize