im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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