Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
i've created a new STD.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
