I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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