i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
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idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
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He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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