just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
