I wish my penis had an off switch
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize