So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
did i walk over a car last night?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
