WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
