Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
