never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
