I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just forgot I was standing up.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
