if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
