i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
