I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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