i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
