just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
