the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
