what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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