I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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