he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
