Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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