I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience