Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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