I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
