Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize