i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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