We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I think your dad took our porno
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
