Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
