I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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